Harry's Secret
by KitKatPotterLover
Summary: Harry has been intrigued with Hermione since they met, but he realized during the Yule Ball that he had true romantic feelings for her. Now, in their sixth year, how will he handle it? Especially when Hermione is going to extremes to gain Ron's attention?
1. Chapter 1

Harry's Secret

Author's Note: In this story Sirius was proven innocent in Harry's third year and Harry moved in with him. Wormtail still got away. The incident at the ministry during the fifth year was just between the deatheaters and order of the phoenix, and no one died. Only significant death so far is Cedric's. I own nothing except the plot of my own story, everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling.

Chapter One:

Harry Potter was not your average soon to be sixteen year old young man. He was a wizard in training, being taught at the finest school for witchcraft and wizardry, Hogwarts. Well, he was usually learning at the school, but at the moment he was on vacation, living with his Godfather, previous best friend to his parents before they were murdered by a terrible wizard by the name of Voldemort.

Such heavy facts weighed on Harry, but nowhere near as heavily as his thoughts of his best friend Hermione. It may seem a surprise, but Harry was used to Voldemort's constant failed attempts to kill him, and so he was always on alert so as not to be surprised by the vile wizard, but Voldemort was the least of Harry's problems. In the opinion of the young wizard, anyway.

No, Harry was more concerned with his best friend as he lay in his bed at number 12 Grimmauld Place. Memories of her walking into the Yule Ball on Viktor Bloody Krum's arm, which had pestered him for over a year and a half, danced in his head. Fantasies of her coming to visit and Harry being confident enough to tell her how he felt, and thoughts of holding her close as he kissed her the way she should be kissed, all felt like physical blows to his head, knocking him senseless.

Sirius had told him ages ago that Hermione was a keeper, and that Potter men tended to know who they were meant to be with right away, just as James had known he would eventually want to be with Lily. Harry hadn't listened to him, he'd simply waved off his statement and pretended that Sirius was mental.

But he wasn't. No, Sirius had been quite right that Harry would eventually come to his senses and see that Hermione was the girl for him. Unfortunately for Harry, he didn't believe Hermione would ever pay him any mind in such a manner. She was usually too enamored with Ron to notice that Harry often watched her study, or read for fun, or play with Crookshanks because she believed the lazy lump of fur hadn't gotten enough attention.

Thoughts of how to tell her how he felt swam in his head, making him dizzy. He could write her a letter… but she'd probably hex him for not "being a man and telling her outright," what with her feminist vibe, along with her "helping everyone that won't ask," tendency. He thought of simply telling her outright but she would likely believe that he was joking. And worst of all was his terror that things wouldn't end well and they would lose their friendship forever.

The only relationship he had been in was with Cho Chang and it had been a complete disaster. Of course, there were certain circumstances that led to it being that way, what with his attraction to Hermione already formed, even though he tried to deny it, and Cho merely using Harry to discover more about how Cedric had been murdered by the sadistic wizard that had been trying to kill Harry from the moment he was born. It was bound to end badly between he and Cho.

Then he thought about Hermione. About how much history they had together as friends. How much more they had in common in comparison to Harry and Cho. How much more attraction Harry felt toward Hermione than he ever had to Cho.

But even with all of that, was it worth the risk to their friendship? That was the question nagging at Harry, giving him no peace of mind. Then of course, there was the Order of The Phoenix, and how often he would plead with Dumbledore and Sirius and even Mad-eye to make him an official member. Why shouldn't he be, anyway? He had more experience fighting against Voldemort than they all had put together. He had an odd bond with him that he could exploit, and even more than that, after Umbridge had been sacked and Cornelius Fudge given the boot (due to an article in the Daily Prophet finally admitting that the Dark Lord had returned) everyone in the wizarding world believed that Harry was meant to defeat Voldemort. If this were true, and Dumbledore often told Harry the same, then why was he being shut out?

He suddenly threw himself out of bed and punched his wall, trying to keep from yelling out his rage. This was his fight, damn it, not everyone else's. So what if he didn't get to live the life of a normal teenage wizard? He didn't care, it wasn't working for him anyway. What he wanted was to fight, and to be fighting at that very moment, because Voldemort wasn't waiting around for Harry to come to him. No, he would get within the walls of Hogwarts eventually and when that happened, Harry would be the only one able to fight him. He wouldn't have members of the order protecting him everywhere, for the rest of his life.

"Harry?" Sirius asked, opening the door. "What the bloody hell is this all about?" Sirius asked, gesturing to Harry's fist against, and almost through, the wall. "Not still angry that they haven't allowed you into the Order yet, are you?" He asked and sat down on Harry's bed.

Harry sat down beside his godfather and sighed. "Yes actually, I am. How can I not be? This is supposed to be my fight. Last year, if we hadn't been living together for the last few years and I had no way to check that what I was seeing was false, so many of you all could've gotten killed."

Sirius threw an arm around Harry's shoulders. "That is very true, and personally, I believe you should be second in command of the Order, right beside Dumbledore, but he hasn't decided that you can be inducted yet. You may only need to wait until the end of this year though, Harry. After all, he could just be holding off because you can't do magic outside of school yet." Harry shrugged and sighed. Sirius took a cautious look at his godson. "That's not all that's bothering you, is it? You've been thinking about Hermione again, haven't you?" He asked of Harry.

"Yeah, and I can't do anything about it. Ron's already hinted he likes her, and I can't take a chance with her away from him, he's my best friend."

"Hasn't been such a good friend to you recently, as far as I recall." Harry quirked an eyebrow at Sirius and the older wizard nodded. "Oh yes, he's turned his back on you during the tournament, foolishly believing that you intentionally put yourself in danger when you did not, and would not give you a chance to explain. He didn't take notice of Umbridge's perverse form of torture until Hermione forced the truth out of you. Complains constantly of being pulled into dislikable situations because of you, not caring one bit that you hate when your friends are pulled into dangerous situations. Ronald doesn't sound like much of a friend at all recently."

Harry shook his head. "Sirius, he was my first friend, on the Hogwarts train. He's spent his life in the shadows of people in his family, in my shadow, even in Hermione's. It isn't fair to judge him on any of that."

"True, but it is fair to say that if he were truly your friend, he would accept that you fancy Hermione and support you in your pursuit of her."

The teenage wizard shook his head at his godfather's absurdity. "I don't chase after women."

"You certainly don't, but you follow behind Hermione like a love sick puppy, and I'm surprised that she hasn't noticed yet. She must really have her nose buried in every book that catches her eye." Harry chuckled and nodded.

"You already know she does, Sirius. She wouldn't notice my interest if I held up a sign that said 'I'm in love with Hermione Granger', unless she looked up from whatever book she was pouring over in that moment. Besides, she wouldn't want to be with me anyway. She's had it bad for Ron for the last few years at least. I don't stand a chance."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I never thought I'd hear James Potter's son claim that he stood no chance against a red-headed buffoon in gaining a lovely young lady's attention. Pull your head out of your arse Harry, I have a feeling she would be far more receptive than you think."

Harry simply shook his head, not wanting to believe that he could have what he wanted most. He'd be too damn lucky, and his only good luck existed to survive Voldemort's numerous attacks.

A few minutes later, they were eating dinner, and eventually Harry was back in his room, trying and failing to go back to sleep.

Hermione tossed and turned in bed, trying to think of a way to make Ronald like her. Sure, he'd been oblivious for the past few years, but he was a young man, something should catch his bloody attention! And that was when she made a plan to finally win him over, no matter what!

Without hesitation she whipped out her quill and a piece of parchment, determined to do whatever it took to make Ron like her, including talking to…

Ginny,

I have a major problem that I need your help with, please, please help me. Meet me at Diagon Alley, three in the afternoon, please!

-Hermione

She gave the letter to Errol, who always seemed to stay with her until she sent a response back to the Weasleys. He took off into the night and Hermione slumped against her wall, hoping beyond hope that Ginny would show up the next day. Her parents wouldn't mind if she left, they had given her far more freedom with her sixteenth birthday fast approaching.

And it was with these last encouraging thoughts, she drifted back to sleep, hoping for good dreams.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two:

Harry and Ron were already seated on the train, arguing over quidditch. Or rather, they were having a rather loud discussion concerning Harry being made quidditch captain and Ron being unsure whether he should try out for the team or not.

"You were great last year, once you got over your nerves," Harry protested and Ron shook his head.

"I told you last year and I'm telling you again, I refuse!"

"Hello Harry, hi Ron," they both turned to see someone that closely resembled Hermione standing in the compartment's doorframe. Ron's jaw hit the floor and Harry smiled, admiring Hermione's new girlish efforts.

He'd always believed she was stunning, but mostly because of her intelligence and her sweet demeanor. Now… it was easy to see that she wanted everyone to notice her physical beauty, which she usually kept hidden behind a mess of hair and baggy clothes.

The girl standing in the doorframe was more confident, no longer struggling with a heavy-looking bag or a stack of books. She was already in her uniform and robes, the skirt half-way down her thighs instead of all the way to her knees, and her dress shirt fit to her body instead of looking too sizes too big for her. And Harry noticed after only a moment that she had undone the first two or three buttons when she usually had her shirts buttoned all the way up, her school tie nearly choking her. And perhaps the largest differences were her hair and the small amount of make-up she wore. Instead of the mass of fizzy curls she usually had, her hair was calmer, still curly but without the frizz that usually turned people away and it fell over half-way down her back. And Harry could tell she must have been wearing make-up of some kind because there was something different about her face, he just couldn't tell what it was.

"Hello 'Mione. You look amazing by the way," Harry greeted her and stood to hug his friend. Hermione hugged him back, and it wasn't bone crushing, for once. Instead, she simply wrapped her arms around him and embraced him warmly.

"Thank you Harry, you look nice too." They broke apart and sat down together, across from Ron, whose mouth was still hanging open in awe.

"You did something to your, and your," he gestured to her head and her clothes.

"Yes Ron, I decided to invest a bit more time in my appearance. It's no big deal, really." She rolled her eyes and took out a muggle book titled "The Count of Monte Cristo."

Harry looked over her shoulder for a moment to see that it was in a different language, and he smirked realizing that he had been correct in guessing that she was bilingual. There were too many times she had stormed off after an argument with Ron, muttering things that he didn't understand.

"How was your summer Hermione?" Ron asked, ignoring the fact that she was trying to read.

"Tu ne vois pas que je lis?" She asked, not bothering to look up from her book.

"Huh?" Ron asked, completely lost and not comprehending that she'd spoken to him in another language. Harry grinned, wishing he understood what she was saying. "What the bloody hell was that?"

Hermione rolled her eyes and looked up from her book slowly. "Honestly Ron, I asked you if you couldn't tell I was reading. Quit staring at me as though I've lost my mind."

"You didn't say that, you just spat something out in gibberish." Hermione turned pink and bit her lip.

"I was speaking in French, on accident I might add. That's not gibberish." She returned to the pages of her book. "Now if you'll kindly allow me to continue reading without further interruption that would be nice." She huffed and began muttering to herself in French again.

Ron just stared at her as if she was some kind of multi-headed creature threatening his life. "Did you know she could speak two languages, Harry?" Ron asked of his dark-haired friend.

"I suspected that she was bilingual, but I didn't know for sure. Anyway, why don't we respect Hermione's wishes and keep it down? She's trying to read."

Ron rolled his eyes. "She's always reading, I doubt she hasn't already read that book cover to cover more than twice by now."

Hermione slammed her book shut and stood up, standing over Ron with an enraged expression. "Je ne peux pas obtenir de la paix de vous moron?" She yelled and stormed out.

Ron gaped as he watched her storm away. "Is it just me or did she get hot and angry this year?" He asked

Harry narrowed his eyes at Ron. "I think she's always been beautiful to be honest, and all she wanted to do was read, Ron." Harry stood and walked off to find Hermione and calm her down.

Ron just stared, not understanding why both his friends were angry with him, as per usual.

It only took Harry a few moments to catch up to Hermione and when he did, he tapped her shoulder lightly. She turned so fast that her hair whipped around and smacked Harry's face, but he didn't mind. "Oh, Harry, it's you. I'm sorry about that, I just hate when he gets like that. I don't understand what his problem is with me reading. And I actually haven't finished this book yet, my parents bought it for me for my birthday and I haven't gotten around to reading it until today."

Harry nodded and hugged her briefly. "It's alright Hermione, why don't you tell me about what you've read so far?" He suggested and they stepped into an empty compartment they were standing outside of.

She smiled as she sat down. "It's a French tale, obviously. About a man who was thrown in prison despite the fact that he was innocent of a true crime, and after spending so many years locked away, with the knowledge that he was betrayed by multiple people, he grows to be hateful and vengeful and plots his escape in order to torment the people that took everything from him."

Harry grinned and shook his head. "That sounds like such a dark tale, but incredibly interesting, I'm sure. I have a feeling if that happened to me I would feel the same way." Hermione nodded and they spent the rest of the train ride talking about their summers, Harry intentionally leaving out his constant thoughts of her.

When they finally made it into the castle and sat down at the Gryffindor table, Ron had caught up to them and was apologizing, without knowing what he was apologizing for of course. Hermione simply forgave him anyway and Harry tried to resist his temptation to tell Ron to shove off and kiss Hermione.

"Welcome, Welcome! Welcome to another year at Hogwarts!" Dumbledore addressed the students with that signature twinkle in his eyes. "Before we become too distracted by the glorious feast ahead of us, I must ask you to welcome back your previous Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Lupin." Everyone turned to see the shabby robe-clad man stand up and they all cheered. Well… all except the Slytherins. "I'm sure you will all wish him good luck for this year."

Hermione turned to Harry. "Did you know he was coming back?" She asked. Harry shook his head, smiling as Remus gave him a small wave and sat back down in his seat.

"I had no idea, but I'm glad he is. Maybe this time it won't matter that he's a werewolf and they'll all bugger off so we have a decent teacher for more than one year."

Ron agreed with Harry and began stuffing his face. Hermione ignored Ron's disregard for table manners and Harry watched her as with as much subtlety as he was capable of. But in only a moment, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see Lupin smiling kindly.

"Welcome back Professor," Harry greeted him and stood up.

"Thank you, Harry. I wonder if I may have a word with you after the feast. Would you mind stopping by my office?" He asked.

"I wouldn't mind at all sir, I'll see you shortly after the feast." Remus nodded slightly with a pained smile and walked out of the great hall.

"That was odd, what do you think he wants to talk to you about, Harry?" Ron asked with his mouth full of food. Harry simply shrugged.

"Ron, could you please not talk with your mouth full? It's disgusting."

Harry turned to look at Hermione, who was glaring at Ron with revulsion. The red-head quickly swallowed his food and muttered a soft, 'sorry Hermione'.

"I'm going to bed, I've lost my appetite." Hermione stormed away, angry mostly with herself. Why did she like him anyway? He had lousy table manners, he wasn't exceedingly bright, nor was he the best looker she had come across. Perhaps because he was attainable for someone like her. A bit mundane, but sweet when he wanted to be. Maybe that was what was best for her. It wasn't as if she could ever… no, she wouldn't even finish that thought.

"Mate, why is she always so angry with me? I didn't do anything!" Ron nearly hollered and Harry shrugged his shoulders, not wanting to tell Ron the truth, which was that everything he did could easily begin an argument because he had no mental filter or common sense.

Harry left the table right after the feast and met Lupin in his office. "Harry, good to see you, of course. Come on in." They sat down together and Lupin smiled. "I was asked by Mad-eye and by Sirius to keep an eye on you this year, Harry. Mad-eye wants to know if you're ready for the Order, as does Sirius."

Harry was speechless, not sure whether he should believe Lupin. "But I'm still in school… weren't you all adamant about not letting anyone underage into the order?" Harry asked defiantly.

"Sirius has been talking with Mad-eye on a regular basis, trying to get you inducted into the order for a while now. He knows how badly you want to join, and Mad-eye's way of putting it off and shutting Sirius up is by asking me to watch you and give my input on whether or not you should be allowed in, despite you being underage."

The teenage boy's eyes widened and he scratched the back of his neck. "What do you think about it? Do you think I should be allowed to join?" He finally asked.

"Yes and no. I believe that you have every right, what with Voldemort trying to kill you every chance he gets. But, I'm still highly protective of you and would prefer that you never join. But, lucky for you, I can see beyond my protective nature, unlike Mrs. Weasley."

Remus looked sullen, he appeared to be wasting away as they sat together and Harry wondered if Lupin was seeing him the way every other adult that came in contact with him saw him, like he was practically their own child.

"I know you miss my mum and dad, Remus, and I know you feel like you have to protect me in order to honor their memories, but I promise you here and now that I am more than capable of handling myself." Remus nodded again, and they concluded their discussion.

Eventually, Harry made it back up to his dormitory and into his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He thought about the order, Sirius, Remus, Voldemort, how the current school year would play out, and mostly, about Hermione. He was still terrified to say anything to her about the way he felt. But he also thought that maybe he did stand a chance. She seemed completely turned off to Ron, and they had spent a glorious time together alone on the train. Maybe… if he played his cards right… she would give him a sign that he wouldn't be shot down if he told her the truth.


End file.
